self loathing central

ok i feel like shit...to be more specific i feel like a complete bastard.
this is gonna be a long one filled with lots of self loathing and a little dash of self pity for good measure. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
As you probibly know it was my birthday on monday and for the occasion i decided to go to the oddyssey on monday night, nothing big just a few friends, it was planned quite late so it was a little 'get down there then decide what we wanna do when we show up' kinda thing. it was a little spur of the moment, i really hadn't thought to much about it apart from the fact that it was my birthday and it should be lots of fun...which it was, lots and lots of fun infact!
Neil had asked me why i hadn't invited kerry and to be honest i just didn't remember, or it didn't occur to me that i'd left anyone out..so i just said to him that i only wanted it to be a small thing with just a few friends, the phrase i used to neil was 'just a few close friends' let me tell you this little phrase has come back to haunt me. first of all it was a phrase i shouldn't have used in the first place because it wasn't really only close friends who came mark, claire and saiorse came as well.
Neil went and told kerry i hadn't invited her because i wanted only a few 'close friends' and kerry now thinks i don't like her or don't consider her to be a close friend. i'm not sure how she feels because i haven't seen her in a while, i do consider her to be a good friend and i really am pissed off with myself that i didn't invite her.
...this whole situation stems from the fact that i didn't invite kerry out, and let me tell you i feel like shit so kerry will be getting an e-mail from me to try and repair things
god only knows what the hell i'm gonna say

i'm a bastard, end of